Explore And Share Top Best Famous Quotes By American Actor Woody Allen, Woody Allen’s Best Quotes And Sayings With Pictures
Eighty Percent Of Success Is Showing Up. - Woody Allen
Right Now It's Only A Notion, But I Think I Can Get The Money To Make It Into A Concept, And Later Turn It Into An Idea. - Woody Allen
The Talent For Being Happy Is Appreciating And Liking What You Have, Instead Of What You Don't Have. - Woody Allen
I Had A Terrible Education. I Attended A School For Emotionally Disturbed Teachers. - Woody Allen
Students Achieving Oneness Will Move On To Twoness. - Woody Allen
Sex Without Love Is A Meaningless Experience, But As Far As Meaningless Experiences Go Its Pretty Damn Good.
– Woody Allen
If You Want To Make God Laugh, Tell Him About Your Plans.
– Woody Allen
Life Is Divided Into The Horrible And The Miserable.
– Woody Allen
It Is Impossible To Experience One’s Death Objectively And Still Carry A Tune.
– Woody Allen
The Food Here Is Terrible, And The Portions Are Too Small.
– Woody Allen
Eternal Nothingness Is Fine If You Happen To Be Dressed For It.
– Woody Allen
Harvard Makes Mistakes Too, You Know. Kissinger Taught There.
– Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills… They Don’t Throw Their Garbage Away. They Make It Into Television Shows.
– Woody Allen
Organized Crime In America Takes In Over Forty Billion Dollars A Year And Spends Very Little On Office Supplies.
– Woody Allen
I’m Very Proud Of My Gold Pocket Watch. My Grandfather, On His Deathbed, Sold Me This Watch.
– Woody Allen
I Believe There Is Something Out There Watching Us. Unfortunately, It’s The Government.
– Woody Allen
Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date On Saturday Night.
– Woody Allen
I’m Not Afraid To Die, I Just Don’t Want To Be There When It Happens.
– Woody Allen
I Failed To Make The Chess Team Because Of My Height.
– Woody Allen
It Seemed The World Was Divided Into Good And Bad People. The Good Ones Slept Better While The Bad Ones Seemed To Enjoy The Waking Hours Much More.
– Woody Allen
Not Only Is There No God, But Try Finding A Plumber On Sunday.
– Woody Allen
The Lion And The Calf Shall Lie Down Together But The Calf Won’t Get Much Sleep.
– Woody Allen
There Are Worse Things In Life Than Death. Have You Ever Spent An Evening With An Insurance Salesman?
– Woody Allen
What If Nothing Exists And We’re All In Somebody’s Dream?
– Woody Allen
He Was So Depressed, He Tried To Commit Suicide By Inhaling Next To An Armenian.
– Woody Allen
Life Doesn’t Imitate Art, It Imitates Bad Television.
– Woody Allen
I Don’t Believe In The After Life, Although I Am Bringing A Change Of Underwear.
– Woody Allen
I’ve Never Been An Intellectual But I Have This Look.
– Woody Allen
If You’re Not Failing Every Now And Again, It’s A Sign You’re Not Doing Anything Very Innovative.
– Woody Allen
My One Regret In Life Is That I Am Not Someone Else.
– Woody Allen
I Am Thankful For Laughter, Except When Milk Comes Out Of My Nose.
– Woody Allen
Money Is Better Than Poverty, If Only For Financial Reasons.
– Woody Allen
Tradition Is The Illusion Of Permanance.
– Woody Allen
I Will Not Eat Oysters. I Want My Food Dead. Not Sick. Not Wounded. Dead.
– Woody Allen
If My Films Make One More Person Miserable, I’ll Feel I Have Done My Job.
– Woody Allen
Life Is Full Of Misery, Loneliness, And Suffering – And It’s All Over Much Too Soon.
– Woody Allen
What If Everything Is An Illusion And Nothing Exists? In That Case, I Definitely Overpaid For My Carpet.
– Woody Allen
You Can Live To Be A Hundred If You Give Up All The Things That Make You Want To Live To Be A Hundred.
– Woody Allen
To You I’m An Atheist; To God, I’m The Loyal Opposition.
– Woody Allen
I Think Being Funny Is Not Anyone’s First Choice.
– Woody Allen
In My House I’m The Boss, My Wife Is Just The Decision Maker.
– Woody Allen
I Am Two With Nature.
– Woody Allen
I Took A Speed-Reading Course And Read War And Peace In Twenty Minutes. It Involves Russia.
– Woody Allen
I Ran Into Isosceles. He Had A Great Idea For A New Triangle!
– Woody Allen
I’d Call Him A Sadistic, Hippophilic Necrophile, But That Would Be Beating A Dead Horse.
– Woody Allen
I Don’t Think My Parents Liked Me. They Put A Live Teddy Bear In My Crib.
– Woody Allen
I’m Astounded By People Who Want To ‘Know’ The Universe When It’s Hard Enough To Find Your Way Around Chinatown.
– Woody Allen
My Luck Is Getting Worse And Worse. Last Night, For Instance, I Was Mugged By A Quaker.
– Woody Allen
Seventy Percent Of Success In Life Is Showing Up.
– Woody Allen
As The Poet Said, ‘Only God Can Make A Tree,’ Probably Because It’s So Hard To Figure Out How To Get The Bark On.
– Woody Allen
Man Consists Of Two Parts, His Mind And His Body, Only The Body Has More Fun.
– Woody Allen
I Was Nauseous And Tingly All Over. I Was Either In Love Or I Had Smallpox.
– Woody Allen
Why Are Our Days Numbered And Not, Say, Lettered?
– Woody Allen
Basically My Wife Was Immature. I’d Be At Home In The Bath And She’d Come In And Sink My Boats.
– Woody Allen
I Don’t Want To Achieve Immortality Through My Work. I Want To Achieve It Through Not Dying.
– Woody Allen
I Am Not Afraid Of Death, I Just Don’t Want To Be There When It Happens.
– Woody Allen
If Only God Would Give Me Some Clear Sign! Like Making A Large Deposit In My Name At A Swiss Bank.
– Woody Allen
Some Guy Hit My Fender, And I Told Him, ‘Be Fruitful And Multiply,’ But Not In Those Words.
– Woody Allen
I’m Such A Good Lover Because I Practice A Lot On My Own.
– Woody Allen
His Lack Of Education Is More Than Compensated For By His Keenly Developed Moral Bankruptcy.
– Woody Allen
I Have Bad Reflexes. I Was Once Run Over By A Car Being Pushed By Two Guys.
– Woody Allen
I Don’t Have To ‘Freedom-Kiss’ My Wife When What I Really Want To Do Is French-Kiss Her.
– Woody Allen
When I Was Kidnapped, My Parents Snapped Into Action. They Rented Out My Room.
– Woody Allen
I Tended To Place My Wife Under A Pedestal.
– Woody Allen
Dying Is One Of The Few Things That Can Be Done As Easily Lying Down.
– Woody Allen
Why Does Man Kill? He Kills For Food. And Not Only Food: Frequently There Must Be A Beverage.
– Woody Allen
Comedy Just Pokes At Problems, Rarely Confronts Them Squarely. Drama Is Like A Plate Of Meat And Potatoes, Comedy Is Rather The Dessert, A Bit Like Meringue.
– Woody Allen
On The Plus Side, Death Is One Of The Few Things That Can Be Done As Easily Lying Down .
– Woody Allen
If My Films Don’t Show A Profit, I Know I’m Doing Something Right.
– Woody Allen
When We Played Softball, I’d Steal Second Base, Feel Guilty And Go Back.
– Woody Allen
It’s Not That I’m Afraid To Die. I Just Don’t Want To Be There When It Happens.
– Woody Allen
Marriage Is The Death Of Hope.
– Woody Allen
Most Of The Time I Don’t Have Much Fun. The Rest Of The Time I Don’t Have Any Fun At All.
– Woody Allen
In California, They Don’t Throw Their Garbage Away – They Make It Into TV Shows.
– Woody Allen
Who Bothers To Cook TV Dinners? I Suck Them Frozen.
– Woody Allen
